Euphemisms and New Terms in the 2007 Elections

While in the thick of the special elections, I have compiled some euphemisms and new terms I discovered and learned during the 2007 elections:

1. Clerical error - Getting caught cheating & explaining it away;

2. Command votes - Fabricated 12-0 TU sweep in Maguindanao and Bohol;

3. Political machinery - The pro-administration's stalled cheating operations;

4. Palace reward - fake P500 and P1,000 bills proliferating in Bohol for 12-0 sweep by TU;

5. Peaceful and orderly elections - when election precincts in Maguindanao open at 7 a.m. and close at 9 a.m.;

6. Shocked - the new look of Chairman Abalos when he learned massive cheating occurred;

7. Monitoring election - when retired Generals Palparan and Lomibao decided to spend quality family vacation time in Mindanao without their families;

8. Sharia Law - apart from getting more than one wife, minors can vote according to imam Lintik, este, Lintang Bedol;

9. LintangBedol's - a newly discovered degenerative illness which is a cross between amnesia and Alzheimer's. Election officers are mostly prone to this disease especially those assigned to Maguindanao;

10. Racist - is what you attack someone who cannot be convinced why Chavit is No. 1 in Muslim Maguindanao's peaceful and orderly elections;

11. Gossip - what Chairman Abalos refers to a teacher's true but apprehensive testimony of clear and convincing evidence that massive election cheating occurred in Maguindanao;

12. Team Unity - a new term for bloc voting. Disallowed by the Omnibus Election Code but permitted by election inspectors;

13. Tonyputsa! - new expletive for an unrepentant spinmeister surpassing Bunyeta in callousness;

14. COMELEC - still the same old corrupt and incompetent COMELEC. Same old! same old!